By a Falun Dafa practitioner in China

Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

My father died when I was young, and we were poor. Because I was short, others often bullied me. I always wanted to be important. Influenced by society, my thoughts were filthy. If it hadn’t been for Falun Dafa and Master I would have been completely lost.

Master Li cleansed my body and mind, and I’m now a diligent and upright Falun Dafa practitioner.

A Filthy Man

I heard about Falun Dafa in 1996. I was interested in qigong because I wished to develop martial arts skills so that others would not bully me. Someone on campus told me about Falun Dafa and said it was free of charge, so I decided to practice.

After I learned the exercises, I asked if there was a book. The volunteer assistant gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun. As I walked back to the dorm, I thought: He didn’t ask which department or grade I was in; if the book is good, I’ll keep it since he can’t find me.

That was my mindset at the time. I even stole books from a bookstore. Zhaun Falun talks about cultivation practice and xinxing improvement. I liked it, and I decided to continue reading.

The volunteer assistant was about 30 years old and had difficulty crossing both legs when we did the fifth exercise. An elderly lady showed us how to do it, and I was able to sit with both legs crossed (the full lotus position) for half an hour the first time I tried. I felt Falun Dafa was what I had been looking for, so I practiced diligently. But I had too many attachments, and I often went to extremes, so my progress was slow.

Still, Dafa sowed the seeds of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in me. In the years that followed, I still knew how to follow these principles even when I was unable to find other Dafa practitioners.

I graduated from college on July 16, 1999. My job was in another city, working in the field. There was no radio or television, so I did not know the persecution had started.

I worked from dawn to dusk all summer, and I had no time to study the Fa (teachings). I wandered around in the winter because I had no place to stay. My mind was filled with all kinds of everyday notions: competitiveness, lust, and attachments to fame and material interests. I was no different from an everyday person. But, I still knew Dafa is good. I wanted to resume practicing diligently, but those thoughts kept interfering with me – I could not tell which thoughts were mine and which were interference.

More than 10 years passed, and I was finally able to connect with practitioners and read Master’s other lectures. Studying those lectures made me realize the old forces had made these arrangements for me, which were designed to make my cultivation fail. I made mistakes regarding lust and had inappropriate relationships with women. That also caused serious thought karma. Without Dafa, I would have been doomed.

Through studying the teachings, I knew this was wrong. When I practiced diligently, I was able to control myself. But when I slacked off even slightly, I could feel myself deteriorating physically and mentally. I wept in front of Master’s portrait more than once, repented, and said I’d change. But then I repeatedly made the same mistakes—I felt I wasn’t qualified to be a Dafa practitioner, so I decided to become a better person first before I resumed practicing.

But that thought was even worse. Without Dafa, there is no way a person could win over the demon of lust. After many failures, I felt I was finished. I also felt that, in order to live well, I had to “fight,” but according to the Fa, this accumulated karma. Since I didn’t want to harm others, I didn’t know what to do. I looked down on myself, but I knew committing suicide was a sin.

Because I had some understanding of the Fa, I knew lust and the thought of suicide were not me; rather, they were forced upon me by the old forces. Unfortunately, I didn’t know about sending forth righteous thoughts, so I just continued drifting helplessly.

Remembering Master on Issues of Life and Death

I had a girlfriend in 2002, and she was a nice person. I asked her to marry me, but she refused. I felt I lost face, so I stabbed my thigh. I didn’t realize I cut my femoral artery (the old forces were actually taking my life). My girlfriend tried to help me. I fainted and realized death was near.

Then, I remembered Master’s words, and fame, material interests, lust, or competing were no longer important. So I recited Master poems in Hong Yin: “Cause and Effect” and “Cultivating Amidst the Delusion.” I also recited “Lunyu” and “True Cultivation” in Essentials for Further Advancement. I said, “Master, please help me.”

I received 36 stitches, 6 bags of blood, and I miraculously survived. I knew Master saved me, and I vowed to cultivate well. But the old forces continued controlling me—especially lust. Since I could not differentiate between thought karma and my own thoughts, I went back to being an everyday person again.

I kept looking for other practitioners, but this was not the city where I started to practice. I lost contact with the practitioners I knew before, and I didn’t know if anyone was still practicing.

In 2004, I went to work in another city. I saw a banner: “Falun Dafa is good” on an electrical pole. My heart fluttered: People still practice Falun Dafa! However, I felt bad when I thought of my poor behavior.

That April, I had a dream one night: I saw a giant diamond in the sky. The diamond split into two, and then into four. I asked others to come and watch. As the diamond continued splitting, a giant Buddha came out on a lotus seat. Also in the sky, there were celestial chariots and divine beings riding dragons or cranes. The scene was sacred and magnificent.

I knew Falun Dafa practitioners were consummating and elevating in broad daylight. “I practiced Dafa in the past,” I thought. Then a little tiger appeared. I got on it and flew upward. Over a barren yellow small hill, the tiger continued flying, but very low. After the hill, however, we dropped by a cliff, falling quickly into an abyss.

As I fell, I saw all those cultivation opportunities I repeatedly missed. The scene was vivid! I was overcome with remorse, and I wept. I asked Master, “Master, could you give me another chance? I will definitely cultivate well!” When I woke up, my pillow was wet with tears.

I knew Master gave me another chance, and I was determined to be diligent. Master also helped me meet local practitioners, and I obtained his recent lectures.

I behaved relatively well during those days and treated others well. Workers there knew I was a Dafa practitioner, and they gave me Dafa materials that they picked up on the road. Several young workers who learned the facts of Dafa planned to practice at a later time.

But after finishing work at that place and returning home, I lost the environment and went back to being an everyday person. Cultivation practice is indeed not easy.

In 2008, I went to the construction site in another city. Upon hearing there were practitioners there, I contacted them. They helped me a lot, and I was able to remain diligent for six months. After I returned home, however, I slacked off again.

Master said, “Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people.” (“Cultivators’ Avoidances”, Essentials for Further Advancement) My xinxing was much lower than that. I felt calling me a Falun Dafa practitioner would be vilifying the title.

I was hired by a large company in 2010. With a higher title and better pay, I enjoyed life more. I was obsessed with lust. Because I felt my cultivation was over, I was even more careless. My wife saw me sending text messages to other women, and she asked for a divorce. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t want to live. When she realized I was suicidal, she tried to stop me. I knew Master was giving me a hint through an everyday person. I could not sink like this.

Regretting my behavior,r I picked up Dafa books again. I made up my mind to be diligent, and I hoped for a miracle.

But my heart was broken, and my will was destroyed. I played games all day long, and my mind was obsessed. I started to fight with others, swear at them, and get angry. Again, I was unable to tell who I was and who was the interfering thought. I did know I should send forth righteous thoughts and eliminate my filthy thoughts.

I sometimes wondered if there were any practitioners worse than me? After I failed so many opportunities, can I cultivate again? Countless times I made up my mind to be diligent, only to fail again.

Out of the Swamp

One day in November 2011, I was really bored playing games. I asked myself, “Will you continue living like this for the rest of your life?” Out of curiosity, I wanted to know what other practitioners were doing. I contacted a practitioner and asked for the software tool that could overcome the Internet blockade. I read the articles from the Eighth China Fahui. I was shocked: Others did so well, but I was still playing games all day?!

I wanted to cultivate, but I also knew I could not make it. On the other hand, I knew Master told us to be good people. I once found a lost wallet and returned it to the owner. I did this because of Falun Dafa. I did whatever I could to follow the Master’s teachings. Without realizing it, I conformed to the principles of the new cosmos.

Master helped me suppress the demon of lust, and I could focus on studying the Fa. I kept improving myself, and my righteous thoughts grew stronger. I proactively did what I could to eliminate the demon of lust and control myself. I also asked Master for help.

In late 2011, I met the most beautiful girl in my class in middle school. I continued to struggle, regret, and sink. Fortunately, I read the Fa, and I was able to restrain myself, and I stopped contacting her. I continued eliminating my lust and the old forces’ interference. Years later, I realized these lustful thoughts were not mine.

In 2012, Master helped me find local practitioners. At that time, we did not form one body, and few practitioners stepped up to expose the persecution. After I heard a practitioner had been arrested and sent to a detention center, I thought we needed to rescue her, so I contacted the coordinator to discuss it.

I thought local practitioners were as diligent as those I read about in Minghui articles. I planned to donate some money to pay the lawyer's fee, and other practitioners would take care of the rest. When I arrived at the meeting, I found most of them were elderly women, and most of them were scared. Although they came to the meeting, they did not help rescue the practitioner.

Thinking about rescuing detained practitioners is something we should do, I told Master in my heart, “Master, I will do it.”

The first step was contacting local lawyers and telling them the facts about Dafa to see if anyone would accept the case. We needed to let go of fear and send forth righteous thoughts. Someone said we needed to tell the facts to court officials, but no one dared.

I looked at the practitioner who suggested this, and I thought, yes, that’s correct, why don’t you go? Then I thought, maybe this was a hint for me from Master. I also had fear but I decided this was something Maser wanted. So I went to the court the following day.

I said I was the detained practitioner’s nephew, and I asked for the case file. I also told the judge what Falun Dafa is.

“My aunt hasn’t done anything wrong. She used to have several illnesses, but they were resolved after she began practicing Falun Dafa,” I explained.

“Do you practice too?” I was afraid, and I didn’t know how to answer.

“Probably not,” I replied.

“Then get out!” he shouted.

I was ashamed of myself. I decided to go back and tell him that I’m a practitioner. But my legs felt heavy, and a voice said, “Don’t go; otherwise, he’ll persecute you.” I already made so many mistakes. I wasn’t good enough at the critical moment. Should I wait and tell him next time? Will I do better next time? Fa-rectification may end soon.

That voice continued, “You cannot go. You have a small child, a young wife, and a disabled mother. How could they survive without you?” But, if I don’t go, am I still a Falun Dafa practitioner? I asked myself.

The battle continued in my mind. In the end, I decided to go. So I went back to the judge’s office as if arriving at the execution ground. In my mind, I told Master, “Master, I belong to Dafa.” Looking back, I realized that thought is very important.

I knocked on the door a few times, and no one was there. Thinking the test was over, I was relieved. But I hadn’t talked to the judge so I decided to wait until he returned.

He walked into the office and asked, “Are you here again?”

“You asked if I practice Falun Dafa. I was afraid and dared not to say yes,” I choked up and said. “I think I had let down my Master. So I came back to tell you I practice Dafa too.”

“Who is your Master?” he asked.

“Master Li Hongzhi,” I replied with tears. “Falun Dafa practitioners are good people. Please treat them well.”

Contrary to his previous bad attitude, he patted me on my shoulder and said, “I know. I know.” He then walked me out of the office.

I still felt bad thinking I had not treated Master and Dafa well. I decided to maintain righteous thoughts and do better in the future.

A few days later, several more practitioners were arrested. The daughter of one of them practiced Dafa in the past. Encouraged by other practitioners, she went to the 610 Office and asked for her mother’s release. Intimidated by the 610 Office director, she went there twice, but stopped. Another practitioner also planned to go, but her family needed her, so she did not go.

I thought maybe this was a hint from Master for me to go, but I was frightened. The 610 Office directs the suppression. If I go, won’t the officials persecute me too?

We need to tell those officials in the 610 Office the facts about Dafa. From the Fa, we know some people signed contracts with the old forces before descending to the human world. The old forces told them to carry out destructive tests on Falun Dafa practitioners. So they are victims too, and we need to help save them.

Helping Master save them may mean that I have to endure some karma for them. Can I handle it? That young practitioner had lost her righteous thoughts. If we don’t help her, she may stop practicing. The detained practitioners need to be rescued, and those officials need to know the facts. Someone had to step forward.

I knew if I were persecuted, those practitioners who plan to step forward may be intimidated and back off. I had to pay attention to safety. Plus, my family does not practice. If something happens to me, they would blame Dafa, not the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). If they blamed Dafa, they could face dire consequences. What should I do?

I discussed this with other practitioners. No one agreed with me that we needed to save the 610 Office personnel. One practitioner said they should face retribution for their bad deeds.

I looked at Master’s portrait when I went home, but I was still hesitant. Maybe I should wait, at least until I finish reading all of Master’s lectures. Then, I realized, Master asks me to be a good person. Can someone be considered good if they just protect themselves? Do I have faith in Dafa? If not, then why am I practicing?

Practitioners should do what Master asks. So where did these notions and concerns come from? Master said,

“Human beings are human beings. At critical moments, it is hard for them to let go of their human notions. Instead, they always try to rationalize things. A magnificent cultivator, by contrast, is able to let go of Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials.” (“Position”, The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)

The next day was March 8, also known as International Women’s Day in many communist countries. I bought a bouquet of flowers and asked the receptionist to deliver it to the director of the 610 Office. On the card I wrote, “Ma’am, you’ve been working hard. Please take a break,” along with my name and phone number. I thought she might feel bad because she assisted the CCP in persecuting innocent people. These words were a double entendre, which might wake up her conscience. If Master arranged for me to help save her, I felt she would call me.

She called me and invited me to her office. We chatted, and I told her my name, when I started to practice, and where I work. I also told my experiences before and after I practiced.

“You practitioners keep saying clarifying the truth. What is that?” she asked. So I told her Falun Dafa teaches one to be a good person, following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It was the former CCP leader Jiang Zemin who started the suppression and defamed Dafa to stir up hatred in the general public. Practitioners feel that telling people these facts clarifies the truth.

“Why did your Master go to the United States?” she asked.

I said, “Master was already in the U.S. before the persecution started. He was introducing Falun Dafa to people in other countries.”

When she said Master was collecting a fortune, I said we never gave a penny to Master and we all learned Dafa free of charge. When she said Falun Dafa does not allow medical treatment, I said there is no mandate, and some practitioners do seek medical treatment.

She had lots of misunderstandings, and I was able to clarify them one by one. I did not prepare in advance, since I didn’t know if she would meet with me. I also knew Master would help me. When other practitioners heard about this and said I had strong righteous thoughts, I felt I didn’t do anything. Master arranged this. He gave the wisdom and righteous thoughts. I just went there.

Looking back, I did not have the notion of protecting myself, nor did I worry about whether I would be able to do well. I knew I could do it since I have Master. Sometimes practitioners say they read the Fa for hours, but their cultivation hasn’t improved. I feel they may not want to abandon their notions. When we still hold onto our own ideas and notions, how can Dafa guide you and elevate you? Even if divine beings want to help you, they cannot because of your mindset.

The director and I talked for nearly two hours. In the end, she walked me to the door and reminded me to pay attention to safety. I knew Master was next to me. This experience gave me righteous thoughts to assist Master with Fa-rectification.

Clarifying the Facts Wherever There Are Problems

Deng, a nurse, was arrested and sent by her workplace to a brainwashing center. She was previously persecuted, and several members of her family practice Dafa, including her mother. But they are not clear on Dafa teachings and do not look within to improve themselves.

Just before she was arrested, we held a group experience-sharing discussion there. After I heard she was arrested, my first thought was to tell others not to go there to avoid more arrests. Then I thought, Deng’s family also needed support. So I went there, discussed what happened with her family, and suggested we all look inward to improve ourselves. Another practitioner submitted the news to Minghui.org to expose what happened.

I realized Deng’s workplace also participated in the persecution by arresting her. What they did was no different than the 610 Office, and we need to tell her supervisors the facts about the persecution. But Deng is from another city, and diligent practitioners over there could do this. Were I to intervene, would I mess things up and get arrested? I was hesitant.

After I studied the Fa, my righteous thoughts became stronger. On the third day, some local practitioners and I went to the hospital where Deng works. The leaders were on a business trip, so I talked with the security guard and told him what Falun Dafa is, and I said that I’m also a practitioner. He said the brainwashing center treated people nicely, and Deng would be fine.

I told him guards in the brainwashing center often deprive practitioners of sleep. When practitioners refuse to renounce their beliefs, they are force-fed pepper or salty water. The guard said he didn’t know this. He regretted helping the CCP.

After I returned from that city, I was filled with compassion. My mind and body also improved. I had a better understanding of what Master said, “But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining or getting your way.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2002 Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume II)

Jing and her three adult children (one son and two daughters) all practice Dafa. These three adult children all have families. The police came when all four of them were producing Dafa materials at the mother’s place. They were surprised and did not know what to do. Jing said the computers and printers belonged to her, and it had nothing to do with the children. The three children were afraid and said they had just come to visit their mother. In the end, the police arrested all three children, but not the mother.

I went there four times, hoping to discuss the situation with Jing about rescuing Deng, but she was not there. I later heard she went to her son’s place. I also planned to tell the facts to the 610 Office staff, but no one agreed. Local practitioners tried to rescue practitioners in the past, but it did not go well. Some felt it was a waste of time.

To make things worse, a practitioner claimed I was a spy. From the Fa, I knew I should look inward—maybe I pressured others too much. I didn’t ask who said this, just tried to improve myself. Since practitioners were detained, and I couldn’t find Jing, and others just waited helplessly, I decided to go to the 610 Office myself. I remembered Master’s words, “With Master and the Way by my side, what is there to fear?” (“Lecture Given at the Conference in Sydney”)

So I went there, and I told the officials that practitioners are good people. These innocent citizens should be released; otherwise, the officials are doing something bad. After these practitioners were released, they were very moved when they heard I helped rescue them. When they contacted me, I shared with them my thoughts, and I encouraged them to be diligent. Master did not abandon us, and we should not live in regret.

Over time, more practitioners resumed practicing Dafa. As their righteous thoughts grew stronger, they also went to the 610 Office to tell the staff the facts, and they joined various projects to validate Dafa. We have established a group that is determined to practice diligently and follow Master closely.

Through these experiences, I changed from an everyday person obsessed with lust to a practitioner with righteous thoughts. I also stepped forward to rescue practitioners. From neighborhood committee to police station, from the 610 Office to the procuratorate, from courts to detention centers, from labor camps to prisons and law firms, I have tried all means to tell people the facts. I think this is what a practitioner should do, and this is how we can oppose the old forces. This is not a relationship between perpetrators and victims; rather, it is between people waiting to be saved and us practitioners.

Switching Trains in Changchun

I traveled to Hong Kong in 2013 and needed to switch trains in Changchun, Jilin Province. I heard some people chatting, and they said Master Li is probably the most famous person in China, but everything they said was negative. I wanted to tell them the facts about Dafa, but I was also concerned about my safety.

I knew if I did not tell what Dafa is, they might face dire consequences in the future. So I said, “My friends, I heard you were doing business in Russia. You must know the business very well. But when it comes to Falun Dafa, I can share what I know.” They were interested, and I explained what they heard in the media was defamatory propaganda from the CCP. The regime initiated numerous political campaigns in the past. Even the chairman of a country could become the enemy of the state overnight, so we cannot just blindly follow what the Party says. They said they experienced this.

Then I told them what Falun Dafa is, the benefits, and why the CCP suppressed the practice. They all understood.

By then, someone waved to m,e and I went over. “How could you talk about Falun Dafa here? What if someone reports you to the police? The practice is no longer allowed…” the man said. He said he read two Falun Dafa books. Before he could learn the exercises, the persecution started.

He never met practitioners, so he did not know what was going on. I told him why the CCP suppressed Dafa and that Master looks after us. I also explained that practitioners have been opposing the persecution and validating Dafa. I also told him how to access Minghui.

An old man next to us was listening. When the practitioner went to the restroom, the man asked me if I practiced Dafa. I said yes. When he asked me whether I knew Master Li well, I was surprised and asked why he asked this.

The old man said he worked for the same company as Master Li did, and Master Li collected 1.5 billion yuan by publishing books. I smiled and said, Yes, there were about 100 million practitioners in China. But most of them did not attend the Nine-Day Lecture series. Plus, each copy of Zhuan Falun was sold for only 12 yuan, and some of the money went to the publisher, printing shop, and bookstores. In addition, if Master wanted to collect money, he could just ask practitioners.

The old man then said the contents of Zhuan Falun were copied from Buddhist scriptures and the Bible. I shook my head and said, This is not true because we have practitioners who believed in Buddhism or were Christians in the past. They said Falun Dafa is way beyond them. Plus, is there anything wrong with being good people? Why did Jiang and the CCP start the persecution policy against practitioners to “Defame their reputations, bankrupt them financially, and destroy them physically?”

The old man heard many lies and believed them. I was able to refute them one by one. Seeing this, he became angrier.

By then, I suddenly realized what had happened. When the persecution started, the CCP had found these people (including Master’s former coworkers), and pressured them and brainwashed them. People like this man had been through various political campaigns and knew how ruthless the CCP could be if you did not follow it. When they gave in and listened to the Party unconditionally, their minds were controlled by the Party. On the human level, they also could not understand why an ordinary coworker suddenly became a qigong Master that everyone respected. The old man was furious and told me to move.

As Falun Dafa practitioners, we cannot let the evil prevail, I thought. Plus, there is no mercy for the vicious element that controls him. So with strong, righteous thoughts, I said, “You asked me to come here. Right?”

He jumped up and dashed to the restroom. His wife apologized and said not to take his words seriously. When I studied the teachings later, I realized that when our righteous thoughts are strong, the vicious elements have no place to go other than hiding in places like the restroom. I also knew this trip was not accidental. Had I not switched the train in Changchun, I wouldn’t have met him.

I met three practitioners in Hong Kong, and I handed out materials to them for two hours. We also talked with people and helped them quit the CCP organizations. Looking at the heavy traffic and pedestrians in a hurry, I thought, if the persecution hadn’t taken place, who could tell who were genuine practitioners, and who were not? Mainland China is much better than overseas for cultivation. I suddenly had a deeper understanding of what a Falun Dafa disciple is.

Lawsuits Against Jiang

When I heard about lawsuits against former CCP leader Jiang Zemin in 2015 for persecuting Dafa practitioners, I understood this was another opportunity. The suppression has gone on for many years. Some practitioners haven’t stepped forward to oppose the persecution, and under pressure, some even renounced their beliefs. Given all these complicated situations, what is a practitioner’s position in the end?

So I talked with other practitioners and shared my understanding about the momentum of Fa-rectification. First, we can decouple this lawsuit and the personal persecution we suffered because we are not seeking revenge. From the big picture, the persecution turned the general public against the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. If we practitioners are good people cultivating toward the divine, we cannot let this happen. So we should bring a lawsuit against Jiang from any angle.

Over time, more practitioners understood. They dared to include their address and their workplace, and dared to mail the letters. I live in a small city, but we have a relatively large number of practitioners filing lawsuits. Because our understandings are righteous, although many practitioners were arrested for suing Jiang in other areas, no one here was arrested. When vicious elements are disintegrated in other dimensions, who would persecute practitioners?

Some practitioners heard from 610 Office staff members that a large number of lawsuits had been sent to them. There were so many that they could not handle it. They were also impressed by the righteousness of practitioners.

Staying on Track

Seeing that I have a passport, another practitioner suggested that I go to the United States and look for Master Li. Yes, I have dreamed about this too. My child could go to Minghui School, and my family would no longer worry about me. But the practitioners here need me, and people here need to be saved. Were I to leave, who would help them?

Here, I would also like to share some risky situations I encountered over the years. One day, I was talking with people about Dafa while handing out amulets (which had the words “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are good”) at a bus station near the city government. One man said to me fiercely while pointing to a building, “Do you know what that is?”“The city government,” I replied.

“Why are you still doing this here then?” he asked.

I told him there are good people in the city government and handed him an amulet. He did not accept it. The bus came. I got on and so did he. He took out his phone, as if he were reporting me.

I was nervous. At that time, I had just resumed practicing for about one year and was actively rescuing detained practitioners. Without a solid foundation, I was not sure about many things. When I saw him do this, I was even more afraid.

After getting off the bus and returning home, I suddenly saw two police vans in the alley, one of them right next to my home. “Should I run away?” I thought.

Then I changed my mind. If I ran and stayed away from home, who would help with various Dafa activities? I resumed practicing this time because I wanted to follow Master with determination. If the police came, I would just tell them the facts.

I continued walking forward. My cultivation status was not good, and I hada  strong fear. So every step was heavy, and every step required my full strength. I will not yield, and I will not renounce my belief, I thought. The officials could persecute me to death, so my life would end like this. I would miss this world, and I would have regrets. So many thoughts came up, and I could hardly control my body. But my righteous thoughts dominated in the end: No, I will not stay away from home; instead, I will cultivate openly and aboveboard.

When I entered my home, no one was there – I was just scaring myself. Had I fled after seeing the police van, I would not have known when to return home. The consequences would be unimaginable.

This experience also reminded me of what Master said,

“The bigger you perceive the challenges to be, the harder things will be to carry out, since “the appearance stems from the mind.” And so the task will become increasingly burdensome.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume X)

Another time, I saw a police van driving toward me right after I left home. I continued walking forward while looking at the police van and sending forth righteous thoughts. The police van slowed down and parked three meters in front of me. Two police officers came out and headed toward me, one on the left and one on the right. I decided not to run away. Then the two officers stopped at a minivan in front of me and checked it for a parking violation – it was another illusion. I knew this was a test to check ifI  have determination and righteous thoughts.

I had lunch with two friends, and I told them facts of Dafa. Two diners next to us stood up and came to us. One of them said, “How dare you say this? We are from the local police station.”

They were in police uniform, but I wasn’t scared. “I have been looking for you. Falun Dafa tells people to be good citizens. Do you know how many practitioners have been mistreated simply for following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance?”

I suddenly was unable to open my mouth. So I tried to send the messages to them through mind-intent. At that moment, the two police officers disappeared, so did their dining table… It was a dream.

I had several dreams like this. They were vivid, and I know they were testing to see if I could pass them. Some practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts when being persecuted and said it did not work. My experience is that it will work if we can let go of life and death, and it might not work even if we are a little off.

I continued letting go of myself and meeting what Master expects, and my righteous thoughts also became stronger. With help from Master, I am able to practice openly and aboveboard. Someone said the city government, the provincial government, and even higher government agencies know about me. They said officials might monitor me or investigate me. But I am not afraid. My life was given by Master. Without cultivation, without validating Dafa, life is meaningless to me.

One evening in 2013, we had an experience-sharing at a practitioner’s place. When I returned home, I suddenly had a new feeling. Before that, I had been sending forth righteous thoughts, but more or less, I still had fear. I remembered Master’s poem,

“A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised”(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions, Hong Yin II)

In the movie Once We Were Divine, Xiao Feng showed Song Guangming this poem at his weakest moment. This helped Song to regain his righteous thoughts, understand the purpose of life, and refuse to yield. To me, this poem is also powerful because it shows who we are and the importance of our righteous will.

Some practitioners said my righteous thoughts are strong. But they don’t know that I repeatedly let go of life and death. Master has been supporting me and protecting me. This is because Master cherishes us and looks after us. Some practitioners tried all human ways to protect themselves, but failed in the end. My understanding is that we just do what practitioners are supposed to and leave the rest to Master.

Almost 30 years have passed since the persecution started. From a 20-year-old young man, I’m now almost 50; from someone with filthy thoughts on the way to hell, I embraced Dafa and began a new journey; from a hopeless practitioner, I have become a Dafa disciple who assists Master in saving people.

I know I could not do it myself. In fact, I could hardly do anything. I could not pass the tests, and I begged Master for help. What do I have? It is just faith in Dafa and Master. I think this is the most important, and this is what Master wants.

It took a long time and many tests of life and death for Master to save me from hell. He cleansed the filth from me and paved my cultivation path, allowing me to continually progress. There are probably many more things that I do not know. Even the best words and the most beautiful language in the world cannot describe this.

I just want to say, Master is great, and Dafa is great!

Perhaps the Fa-rectification should have been completed a long ago, and many disciples would have already achieved consummation. But compassionate Master cherishes practitioners like me who have lagged behind. He has extended the time for us and protects practitioners like me.

I know many practitioners could not pass the test when facing the harsh persecution. Like me, many may have lost confidence after failing again and again. I think these failures are not the real issue. The thought of giving up on practice is the most harmful. This thought is not ours, and is not our true self. Like lost children who are wandering around, Master is waiting for us to get back on track.

Some practitioners who have made major mistakes said, As long as Master still wants me, I will cultivate. To me, this is wrong. We should not use “Master wants me” as a precondition. Instead, as long as we know what the right path is, our hearts will tell us where to go. For us, whether to succeed in cultivation or not is not important; we just have to stand up, follow Master, and return home.