(Minghui.org) Before I began practicing Falun Gong, I was nervous, timid, prone to depression, and often felt lost when faced with difficulties.
As a student, I frequently had conflicts with my classmates that I found difficult to handle, which often led to me becoming isolated. Some of my close friends began to distance themselves. Although I tried to stay close to them, I didn’t know how to act, so they ended up ignoring me.
These incidents caused me a great deal of distress. The truth is, I valued fame, wealth, and relationships, and I often acted impulsively, which led to friendships breaking up.
Cultivating Calmness
After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I remembered something Master taught us,
“Upon running into this kind of conflict, we should, first of all, keep a cool head, and we should not behave the same way as that person.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
In 2000, I was held in a local detention center with about 12 fellow practitioners from my area after we went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa. A few days later, we realized we needed to create an environment for practicing the exercises while we were there.
Several practitioners in our cell began practicing in the morning. The first two days, the guards came to stop us and yelled at us, so we stopped practicing. Some practitioners were afraid and dared not practice, while others said, “What are we afraid of? Let’s go for it.”
On the third day, I decided to get up and practice the exercises. The prison guard entered. She didn’t shout at me, but she said, “No practicing.” I calmly replied, “We must practice. If you don’t shout, we won’t make any noise. We’re practicing quietly and not disturbing anyone.” She said, “I have to report this.” I replied, “That’s fine, but we must keep practicing.” Then she left.
One day, the director called a few of us in for a talk. We told him about Falun Dafa and said we would keep practicing. The director didn’t give us a hard time. This was the first time I experienced the power of a calm and peaceful demeanor.
I used to work in a factory, and sometimes I’d be blamed for things that had nothing to do with me or were not my responsibility. This happened a lot, but I always stayed calm and composed, and didn’t get upset or take it seriously. Even when I was wrongly accused, I’d just laugh it off, and the matter usually went away.
Everyone knew that I am generous and forgiving, and appreciated my character. Most of the coworkers I’ve met have withdrawn their membership in the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. I have gradually developed the habit of staying calm in the face of difficulties. I am grateful for Master’s teachings.
Cultivating Gratitude
My husband lost his mother at a young age. His father had a bad temper and often treated him harshly. His family faced persecution and discrimination because they were landowners. Growing up in such an environment, my husband became very introverted, difficult to communicate with, and unable to show care or consideration for me, his wife.
We had only been married for a short time when my father-in-law visited us. At that time, we only had one room, and in the evening, my husband told me to stay overnight at my parents’ house. I thought he would walk me there, but as soon as I stepped outside, he slammed the door shut behind me, leaving me alone in the pitch-black night to find my way there on my own.
I bought a chicken to stew for my father-in-law, but my husband said, “You’re just craving it yourself and using our guest as an excuse.” I didn’t make the steamed buns properly because I added too much baking soda, and I felt guilty. I told him about it, hoping he would comfort me, but he put me down further, saying, “You have no skills and poor character. What can you do well?”
I am deeply envious of how kind and considerate other husbands are towards their wives. However, my husband not only fails to treat me well but also often speaks to me sharply and harshly. Over the years, I have felt no warmth or care from him. I felt deeply distressed, usually holding my anger inside. When I did get angry, I wouldn’t speak to him for days, yet he didn’t seem to notice or care. Sometimes I was so angry I felt like I would explode, but he acted as if nothing happened. Without realizing it, I developed a strong sense of resentment towards him.
I once told another practitioner about my situation, and she said, “Don’t blame him; you should be grateful.” At that time, my cultivation was not very solid, and my desire for ordinary human happiness was strong, so I couldn’t feel gratitude. Later, my husband and I both faced persecution, and my husband lost his prized job. As he studied the Fa and practiced cultivation more, he underwent significant changes, becoming more considerate of his family. My resentment towards him diminished significantly.
However, we still had conflicts and frequent arguments; neither of us was willing to give in or compromise. There were many little things about my husband that I couldn’t tolerate, and I often criticized and complained to him, hoping he would change. He would say, “I’m doing it for your good.” For many years, I didn’t understand his words, clinging to the notions I’d formed among ordinary people.
However, in recent years, there has finally been a breakthrough. Through studying the Fa and reading articles on Minghui, I have gained a deeper understanding of the Fa. I now understand the origin and mission of Dafa disciples. Also, I have often received enlightenment from Master in my dreams, and I have finally realized that life is but a temporary stay on Earth.
I have learned to understand the principle of looking inside when I see others’ shortcomings. One day, I complained again that my husband had made a mess in the kitchen. He said three times in a row, “I’m showing this to you!” I was shocked and realized that it was Master’s arrangement. My husband was here to help me cultivate and improve myself.
We can cultivate in any environment. I finally understand the principle of cultivating myself in small matters. I am grateful to Master for patiently guiding his disciple and helping me move forward. Later, I realized that it is important to cultivate from the right starting point. I must want to improve myself to cultivate and attain enlightenment. When I truly reach enlightenment, I will be sincerely grateful to others.
From then on, I no longer resented my husband. In the past, he would leave his shoes at the doorway, blocking the bathroom door. I always found this annoying and felt resentful inside. Now, I bend down and place them on the shoe rack, saying to myself, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to change how I handle things.”
I am grateful to Master for allowing his disciples to cultivate and improve even through small matters that can temper our character, eliminate karma, and improve our nature. In the past, when my husband spoke harshly to me, I felt hurt. Now I think that if I offend others so much, there must be something I need to cultivate. So now, no matter what problem arises, as soon as I feel resentment or anger, I immediately change my thoughts and say, “Thank you for helping me cultivate.”
Removing Resentment
Due to the persecution my family endured from the Chinese Communist Party, I have experienced severe psychological trauma and was depressed for a long time. I still felt resentment whenever I thought about the police who arrested and persecuted me years ago.
Although I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t let go of this resentment for a long time, and it sometimes unexpectedly appeared in my thoughts.
Eventually, I realized that this resentment showed a lack of compassion. It was my fault for not cultivating myself well enough. Not only did I fail to save the officers, I also contributed to their committing crimes.
Perhaps I harmed them in a previous life and owe them something. As a cultivator, I need to cultivate myself so that I can save them. With that clarity in thinking, I no longer harbor any hatred toward the police.
This is my understanding at my current level; please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
