(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2015. Looking back on my life, it was like waking up from a dream. It was the practice of Dafa that brought me back from the edge of giving up my painful life. My heart is full of gratitude as I write this.
The Fall of a Golden Girl
I was well-behaved and a top student. My parents worked in the pharmaceutical industry. Whenever they showed me off to colleagues and neighbors, who had envious looks on their faces, I felt even more compelled to study hard and bring my parents honor. Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, I remained at the top of my class, and easily passed the exams to attend the university.
After I graduated in 2001, I landed a job at a state-owned asset management company, working in investment and financing. This was a highly sought-after position and offered both wealth, power, and access to high-end establishments. I earned various professional certificates, worked tirelessly, and became a key member of the team. I also excelled in singing, dancing, and athletic competitions. I quickly became well known within the company.
I also followed economic trends and joined the then-emerging direct sales and e-commerce industries. Over the next few years, both my main and side businesses achieved remarkable success. From my appearance and personal style to my inner demeanor, I was a typical professional elite. I also had a boyfriend who was handsome, tall, and as accomplished and ambitious as I was.
Just when I thought everything was wonderful, the hand of fate and karma quietly reached out. At the age of 27, my life took a dramatic turn. My mother suddenly became ill. She fainted often, her breathing and heartbeat deteriorated and she was repeatedly rushed to the hospital. For more than six months, I worked during the day and cared for my mother at night. In addition, the leadership at my job suddenly changed. After I rejected the new leader’s ill-conceived ideas, I was not promoted and was subjected to various setbacks and suppression. I was ridiculed by many jealous co-workers and some thought I was stupid.
Although I was raised in comfort and never lacked the essentials, I never felt much affection from my father, who came from a poor family that heavily favored boys over girls. As a girl, I was considered an “outsider” since birth. From childhood to adulthood, no matter how well I performed academically or what achievements I made at work, my father never said anything. It was as if nothing about me had anything to do with him. When my mother’s health became poor I desperately wanted to get married—I wanted emotional support and a safe haven.
While we were planning the wedding, I was told that my boyfriend had had an affair. He was my first love, and we had been together for seven years. I confronted him angrily, but he denied it. He accused me of not handling my boss’s harassment tactfully and of sabotaging all the hard work I’d put in over the years. We had a big argument and broke up.
After my mother learned that my boyfriend and I broke up she became critically ill. When she regained consciousness, she told me she wanted to see me get married before she died. A month later, under my mother’s arrangement and at her urging, I married a man she introduced to me, after we dated three times.
Shortly after my wedding, I quit my “respectable” job and started my own business. I worked tirelessly and endured immense pressure. But what hurt me the most was that my husband and I had nothing in common—we couldn’t even have a conversation. He was unemployed, constantly complained about everything, had terrible habits, and had a bad temper. He had no ambition or any sense of responsibility, and he often lashed out over small things. I wanted a divorce. But just as I was explaining this to my mother, hoping she would understand, she had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was not happy when I found out I was pregnant. I felt a child born into such a family wouldn’t be happy. My deadbeat husband didn’t cook a single meal for me throughout my pregnancy, nor did he accompany me to any prenatal checkups. Seven months into my pregnancy, I was still working late at the construction site. On the day of my birth, my husband dropped me off at the hospital and left. The birth was difficult and lasted two days and two nights. My mother was also ill, and I had no one by my side while I was in labor. On the third day of my labor, I had a premonition that something was wrong with my baby, so I ran out of the delivery room, found the doctor, and requested an immediate cesarean section. The operation was lengthy. The baby’s umbilical cord was wrapped two and a half times around her neck. The doctor said, “Even if the baby survives, she might suffer from cerebral palsy.” I was filled with fear.
The baby did survive, but I lost too much blood. I brought my baby girl home a week later, but I didn’t know if she had cerebral palsy. I couldn’t stop bleeding and my husband only occasionally came home. I was on my own with a newborn, without the help and guidance of a parent. With my frail body, I struggled to care for my baby. I was so busy with her that I skipped meals. My milk supply, which had previously been strong, quickly dried up due to the stress and strain.
During the nights when my baby cried for lack of milk, I also wept, lamenting how my life had suddenly become such a mess. I felt hopeless and helpless. Several times, I wanted to jump from the building with my baby in my arms. I truly regretted rushing into marrying such an incompetent and irresponsible man just to fulfill my filial duty. I had to give up my once successful career because I couldn’t balance my job and caring for my baby. With my extremely frail body and a marriage in name only, I struggled to raise my child while studying and finding a new job—I only slept three or four hours a night. Day after day, year after year, the endless chores and the financial pressure, and the burden of educating a child all fell on my shoulders.
In just a few years, I went from being a beautiful, sunny, and positive girl into a middle-aged woman with a withered, aged complexion. My husband still did not earn money and did not care for the child. To evade responsibility, he sometimes deliberately yelled, scaring the child into tears. He even beat me and fractured my bones. My heart gradually withered, and my health deteriorated. I went day by day only for the sake of my child and family.
After ten years, I finally collapsed. I ran into an old acquaintance and learned that my first boyfriend came to my house after we broke up. However, my mother, who was eager to get me married quickly, lied to him by saying that I was already married and sent him away. I was stunned. From that day on, I fell ill. I couldn’t sleep or eat. If I ate, I had diarrhea and vomited. Within a month, my weight went from 48 kg to just over 35 kg. I was like a withered stick, a lamp gradually running out of fuel. I became speechless and lost the energy to deal with anything.
One night, I felt my soul was floating in the air, and I thought I was about to die. I vaguely heard my husband telling my mother that I was mentally ill and they wanted to send me to a psychiatric hospital. I was shocked. They actually thought I was mentally ill! I was suffering, but I was not mentally ill. I just couldn’t see the meaning of life.
I thought of my daughter. If I were sent to a psychiatric hospital, what would become of her? I absolutely couldn’t leave her in the care of an irresponsible father and a grandmother who only cared about how she looked to others. My daughter’s future would be even more miserable than mine. I had to get better! I needed to see a doctor, and live a good life for the sake of my daughter.
I divorced my husband, and as a condition of the divorce, I gave all my property, which was not much, to him.
My illness seemed serious, but after I underwent various gastrointestinal tests, the doctors found nothing wrong. However, my platelet count was rapidly decreasing, and I was becoming anemic. Purpura appeared on my body, and my coagulation levels were so high that I could have a hemorrhage at any moment. I was hospitalized for a sequence of bone marrow draws and tests. I was terrified. I had no one to talk to, no one could understand me, and no one could help me.
Reborn Through Practicing Dafa
One morning, my stomach aches were so severe that I felt devastated. Perhaps it was fate that led me to a traditional Chinese medicine clinic a friend recommended long ago. I presented the doctor with my stack of medical records and test results.
“I don’t need to look at your records,” he said. “You’re not physically sick. It’s all in your head.”
I felt like I was struck by lightning. I burst into tears, as if I wanted to let out all the resentment I’d been feeling for years! “This world is so painful. I want to leave. Is there a way I can never come back?” I asked. I was emaciated and felt I was on the verge of death.
“The only way is to practice cultivation,” he responded.
Since that day, I have been on the path of Falun Dafa cultivation. I had a lot of attachments. With the help of fellow practitioners, I stopped complaining about life, and treated everything as a part of my cultivation. I understood illness symptoms were false, and I was eliminating karma. “I am here to cultivate, not to treat illnesses,” I told myself.
I gained 20 pounds, and my complexion kept improving. My energy seemed to have returned to my youthful, sunny self. People said my face looked rounder and softer. Facing the painful emotional experiences of the past, I let go of my resentment. As I learned from the Fa that when a person was born, his or her entire lifetime already existed there simultaneously.
I no longer held resentment towards my mother, and I became grateful for her having helped me to get rid of my attachment to sentiment. I’m still respectful and filial to my mother, and take care of her meticulously.
After I read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party I understood that my father was heavily influenced by Chinese Communist Party culture, and he was pitiful. Although he still treated me the same as he did before, I no longer had any resentment towards him. I knew these were opportunities to help me improve. I’m a cultivator, so I should look inward and see what I did that was not aligned with Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. So, regardless of how my father treated me, I was nice to him. When we were having a family dinner, he actually poured me a cup of tea. This was so incredible that I was moved to tears.
My ex-husband hasn’t come to see our daughter since the divorce, or given me any money for her. He even extorted money from me in a rogue manner after the divorce. My relatives and friends advised me to sue him. Because I understood karmic ties after I began cultivating, I had no resentment towards him. I knew he was helping me improve, and I probably paid a debt I owed him—it was like killing two birds with one stone.
As for the child’s education, I gradually got rid of everyday people’s concepts and anxieties, and guided and educated my daughter from the Fa’s perspective. My heart became very calm and peaceful.
In 2023, a relative’s business hit a bottleneck, and he invited me to work at his small business. Moved by his sincerity, I resigned from my stable job and went to help him. It turned out that this incident raised the bar for my cultivation even higher.
After I helped him solve all the problems and set the business running smoothly, he turned against me. I suddenly became unemployed. As a cultivator, I followed the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. When I worked with him, I treated his business as my own. I sincerely considered his needs and did my best to resolve each problem. When he treated me with humiliating tactics, I didn’t argue and didn’t even ask for the compensation he was legally required to pay me. I wrapped up my work cleanly, left a note, and went home without any complaints.
The people who knew what happened were unable to stand it. They said I was a coward, and my relative had taken advantage of me, and caused me to lose my stable job. They said what my relative did was inhumane, and I should at least scold him and vent my anger at him.
To be honest, it was impossible for me not to feel any emotion on this. Because of him, I became unemployed when I was middle-aged. I needed to raise a child and care for my elderly parents. I was under tremendous pressure. However, I knew very well it was a big test in my cultivation, and I should look within.
I meditated all night and reviewed what attachments I still hadn’t let go of. I felt I had already put down everything. My parents were fine. I treated them well, and I had no regrets. I didn’t owe anything to anyone. The only person I felt I owed was my daughter. I was worried that I didn’t have enough income to guarantee her future needs. Thinking of not having the ability to provide her with more support, I felt sad, and my tears streamed down. I felt very sorry for my daughter. But then I realized this was human sentiment, which I should let go of.
When I saw my problem, I continued to strengthen my righteous thoughts and strove to thoroughly let go of my fear and emotional attachments that were deeply hidden. Through one test after another, I learned to look inward and gradually removed more attachments to personal desire and gain.
During this period of unemployment, I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and did household chores every day. My life became simple and joyful. I felt more relaxed and comfortable than ever. One night, I dreamed of a wonderful place, where the trees were covered in golden flowers, lotuses blossomed in a pond, and fish made of colorful gemstones swam in the water. It was truly beautiful!
When I watched the film “Once We Were Divine,” I couldn’t stop crying. I felt so much resonance and emotion, as if I saw my cultivation journey. I saw my old self who lived in a world of unknowing, obsessed with fame, wealth, and sentiment, and controlled by human notions. My old self suffered so much that she almost gave up her life. I felt so lucky to have learned Falun Dafa, which rescued me, woke me up, and gave me a new life!
Under my influence, my mother and daughter also started to practice Dafa. I’ve also done my best to help more people who are trapped in the pain of unknowing, so that they know the most important thing in life is cultivation. I hope more people will wake up and be able to return to their true home.
Thank you, compassionate Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners, who patiently helped me!
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
