(Minghui.org) The first time Master hinted to me to let go of resentment was when I was at my son’s home looking after my grandson. I had a conflict with my daughter-in-law. I felt resentful and wanted to leave immediately. I went to a park and cried. I didn’t realize that this was an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing.
Luckily, I studied the Fa with my local Fa-study group every day. I felt that Master had arranged for a lot of practitioners to attend the Fa study that night. There were many practitioners. Practitioners from other Fa study groups also attended. When we finished the Fa study, a practitioner suggested that we share experiences since we had so many of us together.
I talked about my situation. A practitioner from another Fa study group interrupted me and gave an example of a practitioner who did the three things quite well, but for some reason was arrested by the police repeatedly. After the practitioner was released following his eighth arrest, he studied the Fa, looked within, and pondered why he had been arrested repeatedly. Finally, he found the reason: resentment. After he let go of resentment, everything went smoothly.
Practitioners at the study shared with me from the Fa and helped me improve my xinxing. I let go of my resentment toward my daughter-in-law. I realized that it was my fault. They suggested that I apologize to her when I got home.
I bought fish before I went home because my daughter-in-law likes to eat fish. But when I got to her home, she looked at me like nothing had happened and she greeted me warmly. I was surprised and didn’t know what to do.
The second time Master gave me a hint was when my son embarrassed me in public. I put up with him superficially but harbored resentment and jealousy in my heart. I went to a fellow practitioner’s home.
My son had a dream that night. He saw in his dream that I was arrested in an alleyway near my home. He was so frightened that he woke up and didn’t dare go back to sleep again. He called me but I didn’t have my cellphone with me, so he couldn’t get through to me. He worried about me so much that he didn’t sleep all night. He didn’t tell his wife about his dream. His wife couldn’t understand his concern and asked him why he missed his mom so much, because I had only been away from their home for one night.
My son didn’t go to work the next day and drove everywhere looking for me. He didn’t know where I was staying until I called him. He said that his dream was not accidental and asked me to think about it. I realized that Master was using his words to enlighten me. I had been resentful during those several days and didn’t act like a practitioner. So I studied the Fa more, cultivated my xinxing, and sent forth righteous thoughts more.
I returned to my own home after living with my son for a while. Several days later, two policemen pushed open my door because I hadn’t locked it. I rushed over to them and told them stay outside. They ignored me and kept trying to come in. I used my arms to stop them from entering my room. But they kept pushing and said that they wanted to talk with me. At that moment, I saw Master appear above my upper left side. They police stopped pushing their way in. Master dissolved this tribulation for me.
One day my grandson, who was in first grade, said, “Grandma, someone said that resentment is a demon.” Yes, he was right. Resentment is a demon. Master used my grandson to tell me to get rid of my demon nature.
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) element that manifested most strongly in me was resentment. I also had the attachments of jealousy, looking down upon other people, competitiveness, discontent, not accepting criticism, showing off, seeking fame, arrogance, and bragging. These bad things prevented me from looking at issues from the basis of the Fa and also caused me to set up barriers against other practitioners.
I realized that only when I let go of my attachments could I assimilate to the Fa of the new cosmos, develop compassion, form an indestructible body with other practitioners, safeguard Dafa, and complete my mission.
Looking Within and Breaking Through Barriers Between Practitioners
The evil produced many barriers between practitioner Bing (alias) and me in recent years. We resented and blamed each other, and barely contacted each other. Master didn’t want to give up on any of his practitioners and published new articles to wake us up. Finally, I became clear-minded.
After I read the new article “Dafa Spiritual Practice Is Serious,” I was shocked. I realized that I had a serious problem and was in danger. I memorized the article immediately and rectified myself in the Fa. I let go of my attachment to saving face and went to see Bing so that we could reconcile.
She was happy to see me and shared with me. We realized that our local practitioners hadn’t kept up on this last leg of Fa rectification. Some practitioners didn’t study the Fa often and just lived their everyday lives. Some only studied the Fa but didn’t step out to clarify the truth. We realized that we should help them step out, to cooperate with the whole body and follow Master to return to our original homes together.
Bing was good at communicating with other people. I became her driver when we went to see practitioners. During the process, we had conflicts, blamed each other, and raised old grievances. Sometimes my sharp words made Bing’s stomach ache. Sometimes she offended me and we had heated arguments. Afterward, we really regretted our behavior.
I was annoyed with myself. Why was I not kind to Bing? I thought she was not good in this respect and that respect. Why were other practitioners so good to her? Why did she always treat me badly while treating other practitioners nicely? I realized that my selfishness, unkindness, and intolerance had caused these problems. The other person is a mirror that reflects my shortcomings. When I thought she had problems, these were also my problems. Cultivation is to cultivate myself, not other people. I shouldn’t always linger on a demonic path. Master arranged Bing to help me, through her behavior. I should thank her from the bottom of my heart.
I finally saw my own problems, which had existed for a long time. My attachments were arrogance, looking down on other people, taking credit for everything, wanting to change other people, showing off, vanity, not accepting criticism, not cultivating speech, not being considerate, going to extremes, and being pretentious. But these attachments were not part of me. I didn’t want them and didn’t acknowledge them. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate things that were not in line with the Fa.
Master arranged fellow practitioners to show me how to get along with other practitioners, how to be kind and considerate, and how to rectify myself in the Fa.
One day I went to Bing’s home to discuss a few things with her. Practitioner Dong was there. Dong had once suffered from a serious illness and had nearly lost her life. She’d also had serious conflicts with her family members, and the evil took advantage of her loopholes. But she managed to pass the test of life and death due to her firm belief in Master and the Fa. She let go of her attachments of resentment and to saving face. She apologized to her family members sincerely. She became kind and happy afterward.
When Dong talked, she was kind and pointed out one issue after another to Bing with a kind smile. I was surprised. Dong voiced what I had wanted to say to Bing. Bing listened to Dong attentively and nodded her head repeatedly. I could see that Bing was very touched, with tears in her eyes. She said to Dong with gratitude, “Luckily, you have pointed them out to me. Otherwise, who would tell me! Thank you! Thank you! I will change.”
I was surprised to see Bing’s attitude. My conversations with her were never so peaceful. She once pointed out that I talked to her with emotion and criticism, which made her feel uncomfortable. From Dong, I saw where I fell short. I had thought that Dong was busy looking after her kids and didn’t have much time to study the Fa or do Dafa projects. I’d worried about her. I realized that I shouldn’t take how much a practitioner studies the Fa as a criterion to judge whether a practitioner has cultivated well or not. Studying the Fa and behaving according to Dafa’s principles is actual cultivation. Putting principles into practice is cultivation.
Master worried about me and specifically arranged a practitioner to set an example to show me how to treat other practitioners and how to communicate with them. Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
I decided to rectify myself in the Fa and cultivate myself to become kind, compassionate, and selfless. I started to study the Fa a lot and look within.
The evil started to create a barrier between Bing and me, the biggest and final one. At the time, I felt that many practitioners “attacked” me and I got very angry. I argued with Bing even though I was already outside the door, and I left angry. I said to Master in my heart, “Master, what shall I do?” A thought flashed through my mind: read Essentials for Further Advancement 10 times.
I took out the book Essentials for Further Advancement and read four articles: “Further Understanding,” “Expounding on the Fa,” “Cautionary Advice,” and “Definitive Conclusion.” I recited the article “On the Responses to the Piece About Assistant Souls” again.
As I recited the Fa, my heart broadened and I calmed down. I knew where I was wrong. I saw through the evil’s tricks and understood Master’s great care for me.
I sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve the old forces’ involvement. I could feel Master’s strengthening. The energy was so powerful that it could split a mountain. I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear out the barriers the old forces had set up between Bing and me, completely eliminating all the evil elements that prevented practitioners from cooperating as one body and saving sentient beings.
Before sending forth righteous thoughts, I recited Master’s Fa about benevolent solutions with beings, communicated with sentient beings, and then cleared the dimensional fields of Bing and myself to dissolve the old forces’ arrangements, involvement, barriers, and persecution. I felt it had good effects. My dimensional field became clear. I felt the joy of a sentient being who had been saved.
I had a dream that I remember clearly. Policemen and community officers gathered outside my house. I locked the inside room and went to the yard. I clarified the truth to people and told them how wonderful Falun Dafa is. I saw people looking at the locked room. Several policemen were searching the locked room. How did they get inside the locked room? I pleaded with Master to not let them find any Dafa materials. I looked within to see where I didn’t comply with the Fa. I realized that this was caused by my resentment and barriers with Bing. I said to Master in my heart that I was wrong. I looked at my room and found that there was no one there. The policemen and the community officers were gone.
I enlightened that Master had given me a hint with this dream. The lock in this dimension was a method used by humans and it didn’t prevent the evil in other dimensions. Human attachments and resentment had caused the problem and put a division in the cooperation with the one body. It was also an excuse that the evil used to persecute practitioners.
I recited the Fa over the following two days, sent forth righteous thoughts to clear my dimensional field, and listened to practitioners’ sharings about improving xinxing. I recognized my mistakes from the bottom of my heart and sincerely told the practitioners that I was wrong.
I later had another dream. I saw a huge public square, and I couldn’t see its border. It was full of people. Bing and I were there. I said to Bing with tears in my eyes and very apologetically, “It is my fault. I will treat you nicely and with compassion.” Bing held my hands tightly, with tears in her eyes and said in her mind, “We will form an indestructible body, complete our vows, and follow Master to return to our original homes.”
I realized that Master had helped dissolve the tribulation and the old forces’ evil arrangements and had guided us to rectify ourselves in the Fa. Thank you, Master, for your compassion and salvation!
Bing and I no longer have conflicts or barriers between us. We cooperate seamlessly.
Final Remarks
After I finished writing the framework of this article, I recited Master’s article “Dafa Spiritual Practice Is Serious” again. I could feel the immense compassion Master has for me.
I still feel that I have a long way to go to meet the Fa’s requirements. I have fear and am still attached to fame, personal interest, emotion, and to seeking comfort in this human world. I like to sleep and don’t get up to do the exercises in the early morning. How can I validate the Fa? How can I complete my mission? Why don’t I treat the Fa seriously? I asked myself why I came to this world. Didn’t I come for the Fa? I must cultivate myself seriously and well. I must comply with the Fa’s requirements and believe in Master and the Fa. I will do what Master requires us to do.
Category: Improving Oneself
