(Minghui.org) I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for 29 years. Throughout my cultivation journey, I’ve had an unshakable faith in Dafa. I’ve also experienced regret after stumbling because I could not let go of my attachments. I was determined to cultivate well. I would like to share some of my cultivation experiences and express my gratitude for Master’s compassionate salvation.
Breaking Free From the Fundamental Attachment to Self and Self-Interest
I used to suffer from many serious illnesses for which there was no effective treatment. The hospital essentially gave me a death sentence. After I began practicing Falun Dafa, my illnesses disappeared. When I saw my parents, brothers, and sisters become ill, suffer and age, I couldn’t understand why they refused to practice. I told them about the miraculous benefits of Falun Dafa in improving health, and my family believed in and benefited from Dafa to varying degrees. But when some of them experienced health problems again, they became less convinced. I was often puzzled: Why wouldn’t they take up cultivation?! They would truly benefit from it!
After I cultivated for more than 20 years I had some health-related tribulations. I realized that my fundamental understanding of Dafa remained at this level: I was attached to the idea that Dafa could give me a healthy body, and I especially hoped that my family could benefit from it too. Yet they simply would not accept it. I wanted to use Dafa to eliminate disasters and difficulties for my family, while at the same time enjoying all the benefits that practicing Dafa brought to my health, my family, and every aspect of my life. I realized that I never eliminated my fundamental attachment.
I also handled problems with human notions, rather than looking at them from the perspective of the Fa. I did not use the Fa to determine right and wrong. Instead, I often handled things based on personal relationships—thinking that someone was good to me, for example. In my interactions with people, I often looked at whether someone shared my views, understood me emotionally, or could provide me with spiritual or material support. If so, I was willing to associate and cooperate with that person, and I would give them material or emotional support in return.
Whenever someone came to me for help, I thought it meant they valued me, so I always agreed to help. My home became like a hotel and I did my best to entertain whoever came. Someone might ask me to accompany them shopping and listen to their complaints. If someone felt lonely or bored, I kept them company. If a couple had an argument, I would try to mediate. Because I did not study the Fa enough and did not look at things from the Fa when problems arose, I lost a great deal of precious time and many valuable opportunities to help Master save sentient beings.
I kept thinking I was capable, so whenever a practitioner needed something, I helped. I seemed to be constantly busy—helping one practitioner with a computer, helping another organize audio recordings for experience sharing, and so on. I thought that whenever someone asked me for help, I should help, and this was what it meant to be selfless. I was so busy that I had no time to study the Fa, let alone look inward and cultivate.
Through studying the Fa and reading experience-sharing articles on Minghui.org, I understood that everyone must walk their own cultivation path. If we still rely on others for everything instead of walking our own paths, then something is wrong. I learned not to depend on anyone, nor to make other practitioners dependent on me because of my attachment to showing off or my zeal.
I was always busy doing things within the circle of practitioners. I realized I needed to look inward and eliminate sentiment, human notions, and human thinking. When I have time, I should do things to save people. I no longer pursue spectacular results or waste time. When I encounter anything I measure it with the Fa, and I firmly refuse to go along with anything that is not in accordance with the Fa. I’ve realized that when we are attached to human things we may forget our sacred vows.
Having Compassion for Everyone
I used to always focus on the negative thoughts and attachments of other practitioners, and I judged people according to the shortcomings I saw in them, thinking, “That’s just the kind of person he is.” Later, through studying the Fa and listening to experience-sharing programs on Minghui Radio, I realized that I should not acknowledge anyone’s negative aspects. These are things imposed on sentient beings by the old forces.
I should bring the message “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” to every being. The radiance of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance will illuminate our dimensional fields. I should look at each person’s strengths and guide myself according to Falun Dafa’s principles and treat every life with kindness, rather than being like the old forces, which only want to change others instead of changing themselves.
When conflicts arise, I constantly remind myself to be alert to every thought. When I feel pain or unhappiness, I know that there is selfishness involved—I’m concerned about reputation, personal gain, and sentiment. In fact, these things are not my true self; they are fundamental human attachments. Feelings of being treated unfairly, wronged, or humiliated are all illusory appearances. Once I understand this, cultivation becomes much simpler.
I once came into contact with a very elderly practitioner who inexplicably lost his temper with me. I had also heard others say that this practitioner had a bad temper. So I concluded that he was ill-tempered, and I thought, “He has cultivated for so long and still hasn’t eliminated his bad temper.”
Once, while trying to get a practitioner released from detention, I asked this elderly practitioner to help. When I visited his home, I saw a side of him that I had never seen before. He had gone many times to police bureaus, police stations, and prisons to try to rescue practitioners, and he had very strong righteous thoughts.
He told me that he hired lawyers to help rescue practitioners and shared his experiences of traveling long distances to meet practitioners who were illegally detained. Although he appeared stubborn on the surface, he was compassionate and courteous when dealing with police officers. He didn’t confront them aggressively. Instead, he used legal principles and the facts about Dafa to win their respect.
This elderly practitioner’s wisdom and courage helped many people. I had new respect for him. I also discovered that he actually had a very good temper.
There was another older male practitioner who knew a great deal about traditional Chinese culture and told ancient stories. I thought to myself, “This practitioner does not study the Fa very much; he just tells stories.”
But through interacting with him, I discovered that his cultivation was actually very solid. He ate only one meal a day, and his food was simple. Although he was wealthy, he never spent money on personal enjoyment. He wore plain clothes year-round and rarely bought new ones. He was very strict with himself in cultivation, and therefore had experienced very little persecution.
When the police came to his home he refused to let them in because other practitioners were there. In order to protect the practitioners, he went with the police to the station. One officer said, “You shouldn’t believe in Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Falun Dafa is bad.”
The practitioner asked him, “You are a police officer, and I’m an ordinary citizen. You say that Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance are bad. Then please tell me, what is good? If Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance are bad, does that mean lies, being evil, and fighting are good?”
The officer was at a loss for words. Then he replied, “I was told by my superiors to do this.”
The police let him go home. Through talking with this practitioner, I saw my own shortcomings in cultivation. I realized that I have many modern notions and behaviors that need to be rectified, and that I need to eliminate my attachments to seeking comfort and enjoyment.
I also visited the home of a male practitioner whom I felt was not very rational. This time, I sincerely let go of my ego and preconceived notions and humbly asked him for advice. He seemed like a completely different person and was very kind to me. He told me how he clarified the truth about the persecution to 18 police officers while he was in a detention center, and shared many examples of his righteous thoughts and righteous actions. He also encouraged me.
Through getting to know them better, I discovered each practitioner’s strengths, and I respected and cherished them. The barriers between me and other practitioners began to disappear. It is wonderful to look at the strengths of others, because I can compare myself with them in cultivation and see my own shortcomings.
Cherishing Predestined Relationships
Because I practiced Dafa, I was forced out of my job and I was sent to a forced labor camp. My former husband was angry and frightened, and he burned my Dafa books. After I was released and returned home, he firmly opposed my practicing and told me to choose between our family and Dafa. I said, “I want both.” He did not agree. I replied, “Dafa gave me my life, I will never give it up.” While I was held in the labor camp he began a relationship with a married woman.
My former husband took me to the civil affairs office. He went inside and completed the divorce proceedings. When I went home the next day to get my books the woman was there.
I said nothing. I was neither angry nor resentful. I simply felt sorry for them. They were both very embarrassed, so I calmly said, “It was this persecution that caused me to lose my family. Falun Dafa taught me how to be a good person, and all my illnesses were resolved. I sincerely ask you not to oppose Dafa. Be sure to remember, ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’”
Later, my former husband developed cerebellar atrophy and became mentally confused. His wife left him and his mother and younger brother took care of him.
One day, a practitioner called me and said that it was my former mother-in-law’s birthday and that her daughter and son had come from far away. She said that I should go see them. I replied, “I should go there and talk to them about Dafa.” I bought a lot of food and went to their home.
When I arrived many people were there: my former four sisters-in-law, and two younger brothers-in-law. Some brought their families, while others brought their children. They spoke very highly of me and had a great deal of respect for me. I helped all of them make the Three Withdrawals—quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations of the Youth League and Young Pioneers.
The wife of one of my former younger brother’s-in-law also read Dafa books with me. Whenever my former mother-in-law had free time, she would silently recite, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
After that, I went to visit my former husband twice and asked him to make solemn statements because he had previously burned Dafa books and spoken disrespectfully about Dafa. He agreed to do so.
He passed away soon after. One of his sisters became ill. I bought some presents and visited her, and I further clarified the facts about Dafa to her entire family. She said, “I will always recognize you as my real sister-in-law.”
The children of my eldest sister-in-law had already grown up. When they saw me, they hugged me and said that they would always recognize me as their aunt.
The Party secretary of the village where my former husband’s family lived said, “Just look at her. She is so broad-minded. Her former husband went off with another woman, yet she still went to visit him, gave him money, and bought things for him.”
Breaking Through the Evil Persecution of Forced Labor and Imprisonment
In the early days of the persecution, I was reported to the authorities for telling people the facts about Falun Dafa. Officers from the Domestic Security Division and the police station arrested me. While I was in the detention center, I constantly recited the Fa and sent righteous thoughts. I denied the evil persecution. I realized that my attachment of fear caused me to be persecuted, so I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate that filthy attachment of fear.
When I sent righteous thoughts I saw myself locked inside a room. I saw the lock on the door and I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the predicament. Then I found myself at the edge of a cliff, and I again sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the danger. I saw myself locked inside a huge iron cage, so I sent righteous thoughts. As my energy and power grew, the iron cage grew as well. I grew as large as the sky, and the iron cage covering me also grew as large as the sky. I became exhausted.
I calmed down and thought, “Something isn’t right. I don’t want this iron cage. I should jump out of it.” I grabbed the iron cage in my hand and sent righteous thoughts to clean it up and completely destroy it. I thought: “No one has the right to control me.” I understood that when dealing with the old forces, we must completely deny them. We cannot acknowledge the persecution and then try to fight against it. I cannot try to eliminate the cage while remaining inside it. I no longer accept any form of evil persecution. I am a Dafa disciple, and no one has the right to control me.
One day, many officers came, apparently taking my case very seriously. I began having negative thoughts: They confiscated so many things from my home, what would the evil do to me? Perhaps the situation would become very serious. I immediately rejected these thoughts: “No one has the right! No one is allowed to touch me!”
When the police came to interrogate me, I told them the facts about Dafa. When they did not listen I sent righteous thoughts. What I told the police was simply that they must release me unconditionally and let me go home. After more than 10 days, I was released unconditionally. My family members and the other practitioners heard that I might be sentenced to many years in prison. They did not believe that I could get out so quickly.
At another time, I was arrested and taken to a police station because I put up banners with information about the persecution. I refused to cooperate with any of their demands. Two officers took turns interrogating me in shifts, but I said nothing. That night, I lay on the concrete floor. The young officer on duty pressed and crushed my hands and feet with his leather shoes and burned me with cigarette butts. I simply kept my eyes closed.
The next morning I thought, “Since I’m here, I should tell them about Falun Dafa.” So I told them that Falun Dafa is an upright practice, that the CCP persecutes Dafa, and that by cultivating ourselves we improve our morals, consider others in everything we do, and treat others with kindness. I also told them that the Tiananmen Square “self-immolation” incident was fabricated by the CCP to frame Falun Dafa.
They understood and one of them said, “When the next shift comes, tell them what you told us.” I realized that Master was giving me a hint that I must save these people. After that, every so often, two new officers would come to replace the previous ones, and I told them about Falun Dafa. They all came to understand. Before leaving, each group would say, “When the next group comes, tell them the same thing.” In the end, even the police station head understood the truth about the persecution.
The police head took several officers and moved me outside to a mound of earth. I sat on it and told them more about Falun Dafa. The police head said, “What you are saying makes sense. We should read some Falun Dafa books.” I told everyone in the detention center about Dafa after I was sent there. Those who understood the truth kept asking the police to release me. Eventually, I was sent to a forced labor camp, but I was released and sent home because I failed the physical examination. Once again, Master rescued me from the den of evil.
In 2016, I was arrested again and taken to a detention center in another city. I realized that I had an attachment to showing off. I thought highly of myself—I felt I understood the Fa principles and I should help wherever I was needed. It seemed as though I was cultivating very well, but in reality, my attachment to showing off had grown and was interfering with the local environment for saving people. I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I was wrong. I will never again show off how well I understand the Fa principles or go everywhere showing off and disrupting the environment there.”
One police officer shouted, “You aren’t getting out!”
I rejected this and thought, “You don’t have the final say.” After more than 10 days I was released. They wanted to sentence me, but our great Master once again saved me.
In 2020, I was arrested once again and taken to the police department. The head of the Domestic Security Division took my statement and asked if I practiced Falun Dafa. I responded, “Faith is permitted by China’s Constitution, so I have the right to refuse to answer.” I told them the facts about Falun Dafa.
They asked whether the things they had taken from my home belonged to me. I asked them, “How did you obtain these things from my home? You entered my home and took them when no one was there. Thus you violated the law while supposedly enforcing it. You committed the crime of burglary and robbery.”
I then asked them, “Which law do these things violate? Show me the legal documents. What harm have these things caused, and to whom?” With each question, I pointed out how they were violating the law and I asked them to produce the relevant legal documents. When the head of the Domestic Security Division told me to sign, I said, “Because you have violated legal procedures and broken the law while handling this case, I cannot sign.”
After I read articles on Minghui.org about using the law to help Master save people, I used every opportunity to point out how they violated the law. They were less arrogant. I continuously rejected any selfish thoughts that arose—thoughts of protecting myself. The only thoughts I held in my heart were: “I want to save you. Save you.” That evening, they drove me home and politely saw me off.
