(Minghui.org) I read the Fa (teachings) and did the exercise with my mom when I was very young—although sometimes reluctantly. When I was in elementary school I threw temper tantrums over Fa study. I did not understand what cultivation was. I just did what my mother told me to do.
My mother ignored my attitude and showed me movies, songs, and stories of legends produced by Dafa practitioners. I enjoyed them. They planted the seed of cultivation in me.
By the time I finished sixth grade, I knew many of the songs about Dafa. They are pleasing to the ears and I liked them. The lyrics were beautiful yet grand. Listening to them helped me forget about my worries, and I sang them aloud to release pressure and lighten my mood.
My Middle School Years
I changed and matured when I entered middle school. I willingly studied the Fa and did the exercises. However, I did them as if I were doing a job. My intention wasn’t pure and I wanted my grades to improve. Because I wasn’t truly cultivating I was pessimistic and temperamental and I sometimes shouted at my parents. I did not look inward when I encountered problems. Although I did not curse, my head was filled with bad words.
Singing songs and watching movies about Dafa gave me righteous thoughts and awakened my true self. I began re-examining my cultivation. In the past, I studied the Fa and did the exercise in order to get better grades, I did them like a chore. This could not continue, I knew I had to be diligent.
So, I began to extend the length of time I did the exercises. However, I relaxed when I returned to school and interacted with my classmates. Seeing other students doing extra practice problems made me feel anxious and I felt happy when they did not study well. I was sometimes able to correct my negative thoughts, but I usually did not control my thoughts which generated a lot of karma.
I spend extra time memorizing the materials for the middle school geography and biology exam, just like the other students. I did not see myself as a cultivator and forgot Master’s teaching.
My mother recommended I memorize Zhuan Falun, because she felt it could help me study. I agreed. I memorized one paragraph every morning for a while. When the geography and biology test scores came out, I was blinded by my high marks and I boasted how much I studied. I even told other young Dafa practitioners that they should do extra practice questions. I was completely engulfed by my inflated ego, and I showed off. As a result, my tests scores for my other subjects got lower and lower and I was quite shaken up.
My parents asked me to stay away from digital devices, because they were bad for me as a student and a cultivator. One summer, to study for a test, I started reading a Chinese classic novel. Seeing me completely engrossed in it, my father reminded me to not get addicted to the book. However, I became so attached to it that I could not sleep at night. When school started my mom took it away. Alerted by my attachment, I decided that I must eliminate it. I read quite bit of the book and the content already caused me to have thought karma. These thoughts continue to affect me, and interfere with my cultivation. I really regret reading that book.
Friendship Trouble
After I consistently memorized Zhuan Falun I gained better understanding of parts of the book that were not clear to me in the past. Cultivating the heart is most important.
My most painful tribulation that year was the friendship trouble I had with my desk mate. We were good friends and wanted to sit next to each other, however, we soon had problems. She would suddenly get upset and ignore me for the entire period, sometimes not talking to me for half a day. She would chat and laugh with other classmates and give me the cold shoulder.
Because this really bothered me I thought I was afraid of losing face in front of others, so I should just ignore it. After a while, my deskmate seemed to be mad at me every day. During a social event, I called her name and smiled at her, but she walked past me as if I did not exist.
After I repeatedly searched inward, I found my sentimental attachment to my friend. I realized that this is not the way friendship should be. So I treated the matter lightly and went to the other extreme: we stopped talking to each other and even ignored each other. After a few months we argued less on the surface, but I reflected on the situation.
She did not do well in the physical education exam. She wasn’t in a good mood. I didn’t want to upset her, so I cautiously said some encouraging words.
She later accused me of not comforting her. I gave a thoughtless reply. Her tone hardened, and she asked a rhetorical question. When I wasn’t able to respond, I ran to the bathroom with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I silently said, “Falun Dafa is good” and called out to Master to help control my emotions, as my hatred and feeling of being wronged surged.
The bell rang, and I returned to class with swollen eyes. She probably noticed it. I gave her an explanation and an apology, but my heart still would not let it go.
A few days later, the thought of facing her heartless expression made me panic. I remembered Master’s Fa from Zhuan Falun:
“If you do what that person did, aren’t you an ordinary person?” “If you compete and fight like an ordinary person, you are an ordinary person. If you outdo him, you are even worse than that ordinary person.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that it was time for me to put down sentimentality. As a cultivator I must treat everyone with compassion. Even if she ignores me I should still be kind.
I greeted her with a smile when I saw her. I woke her up when she fell asleep in class. When she was in a bad mood, I showed her lyrics of the songs written by Dafa practitioners. The barrier that separated us for more than a year eventually disappeared. She opened up to me and my sentimental attachment gradually faded.
Master Helps Me
When I set my mind to improve my cultivation, Master helped me to make it happen. For instance, in the past, to prepare for national high school entrance exam, the 9th graders in our school had to come on Saturdays, but our graduating class did not have to do that. The 9th graders did extra study during midday break, which is the time I use to study the Fa and do the exercise, but for one month our class no longer had to come in.
As we approached the testing dates, my classmates’ anxiety increased, and they were worried if they could get into their first choice high school. Teachers talked about educational trends every day. Everyone was in preparation mode.
I wasn’t too nervous. Besides finishing homework assignments, I did not do much extra study. It was clear to me that where we are going to school were already planned out. Despite the tense environment I felt relaxed. Since the focus was on on content review, we had little homework. My goal was to memorize Zhuan Falun before we took the entrance exam.
I sometimes had the thought of going after fame, but I eliminate as soon as I noticed it. When I set my mind on memorizing one page of Zhuan Falun a day, our school was let out an hour earlier. The extra hour allowed me to reach my goal.
I did not tremble with anxiety when I entered the room to take the test. My heart was not completely calm, but I felt much calmer compared to the past. I did exceptionally well. There was a difficult question on the math test. After attempting multiple times, I could not figure out how to solve it.
The palms of my hands were covered in sweat. I silently said “Falun Dafa is good” a few times. Suddenly, the logic to solve the question came to me. With only 15 minutes left, I solved the last, most challenging question of the exam. I felt a gush of free flowing wisdom. This is something I never experienced when I took exams before.
When test results came out, I was accepted by the best high school in our area. This caused quite a stir in our extended family, and showed me that I walked on the correct path. I knew Master arranged it. I not only cultivated myself, I also validated Dafa and my relatives saw the goodness of Dafa.
Those days when I memorized Zhuan Falun were my happiest. I was cheerful and relaxed, and I felt bathed in Falun Dafa’s positive energy. As a result, I did not feel any pressure like my classmates did. They were extremely anxious and did the practice questions as if their lives depended on it. I completed all the homework assignments, the rest of the day I memorized the Fa, did the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts. It was a memorable happy time in my life. Master’s Dafa guides me to what I ought to do. I am so fortunate to have Master by my side.
I continue to cultivate. I am grateful that Master picked me to be one of his disciples, to cultivate Dafa. I will treasure the time and opportunities I have, stay diligent, cultivate well and protect Dafa like a genuine Dafa practitioner.
Thank you Master! Thank you Dafa!
Heshi.
