(Minghui.org) I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for 27 years and I’m now 70 years old. I follow Master’s teachings and have improved my xinxing. I’ve read and memorized Falun Dafa’s main book, Zhuan Falun many times, and I’ve diligently done the three things.
Because I became lax in my cultivation, I encountered interference caused by human thoughts and sentimentality, and I recently experienced a significant xinxing test.
My brother-in-law came to visit us before the Chinese New Year. The conversation at dinner was initially pleasant, and he said he respected my decision to practice Falun Dafa. He praised my ability to tolerate others and not get angry.
But after he had a few drinks, he swore at me and spoke rudely. He followed me to the kitchen as he cursed my family.
At first, I remained calm and asked him why he said those things. I reminded him that my husband and I treated him well—we also helped him with his job and wedding. Even as he cursed me, I thanked him for giving me virtue (de). This made him even angrier, and he tried to hit me, so I reminded him that hitting me would only give me more virtue.
The situation escalated and he swore at Dafa and Master. I could tolerate him cursing at me, but not at Dafa and Master. I shouted: “Stop talking! Don’t make more karma!” He quietened down a little. My husband sent him home.
I stood in front of Master’s portrait and said, “Master, I didn’t do well. I caused my brother-in-law to say bad words about you and Dafa. I’m sorry; this is my fault.”
I blamed myself but I wasn’t able to find the reason for the confrontation. When I reflected on what happened, I was pleased when my brother-in-law praised me for my ability to tolerate others. I realized that I was zealous and I wanted to hear pleasant things.
After my brother-in-law had a few drinks, he said, “You practice Falun Dafa and tell us to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organizations. How much money will you give me if I quit?” I told him that Dafa saves lives, which cannot be measured with any amount of money. I used myself as an example—I was sick after I married, but I became healthy after I began practicing Falun Dafa. Because I’ve been healthy for twenty years, this saved us money.
My brother-in-law didn’t agree with my explanation, and said that I was ill before I married his brother. I told him I was completely healthy before I married.
This argument was caused by my competitive mentality as well as resentment, which are both rooted in CCP culture.
My husband and I lived with my husband’s family for two years after we married. My brother-in-law and his wife also lived there. My father-in-law had a foul temper. He often picked fights for no reason, resulting in physical confrontations and verbal insults. I was depressed and I became ill. Because of this, I grew to hate my husband’s family.
I thought my grudges toward my husband’s family were resolved after I began practicing Falun Dafa. However, they resurfaced. The old forces saw this as a weakness and used my resentment to intensify our conflict.
As cultivators, we must use the Fa as our guide, and face conflicts with compassion. Even when we feel wronged, we need to consider others first. This time however, my thinking was not based on the Fa, and I told my brother-in-law, “Thank you for giving me virtue.” These words escalated the situation further, and caused him to curse Master and Dafa. When I thought about what happened, I realized it was the resentment I hadn’t eliminated that caused his angry outburst.
I slept little that night. Besides sending forth righteous thoughts and reciting Master’s teachings, I searched within and tried to align myself with the Fa. I felt my burden lighten, and my worries disappeared as if Master was pushing me upward. My heart expanded and the feeling of being trapped dissolved. I had to thank my brother-in-law for giving me this opportunity to improve myself—he helped me see the attachments that I hadn’t eliminated. My brother-in-law had previously quit all the CCP-affiliated organizations he’d joined, but I did not thoroughly clarify the truth about the persecution to him.
The following morning, my brother-in-law called to apologize. Our quarrel was resolved.
I learned that hatred and resentment are big obstacles in cultivation. We cultivate Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance, and there is no place for hate and resentment. Regardless of what people say or do, nothing happens without a reason and we should not feel any resentment toward them. Hate is evil—not a simple attachment, and must not exist in a cultivator’s field.
Reflecting on my almost three decades of cultivation, I often have resentful thoughts toward family members and other practitioners. Hatred and competitiveness are rooted in CCP culture. I failed to treat others with compassion when my vested interests were at stake. Instead, I complained about and blamed others, and I held onto grudges.
Some practitioners passed away because they couldn’t let go of hatred and resentment. Hatred, jealousy, and combativeness go hand in hand. As cultivators, we must eliminate them.
I will follow Master’s teachings, walk a righteous path, eliminate my hatred and other sentimental attachments, and have compassion for everyone—allowing more sentient beings to be saved. By becoming selfless and free of desire, I hope to achieve enlightenment and follow Master to return to my celestial home.
This is based on my personal understanding at my current level. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
Category: Cultivation Insights
