(Minghui.org) I deeply reflected after reading a practitioner’s article, “Discovering and Getting Rid of the Hidden ‘Self',” and I’d like to share my understanding.
Practitioners in my Fa-study group recently talked about getting rid of the “self.” Ang has a strong ego and likes to impose her views on others. Bei and Chan both pointed it out to her.
Ang accepted their criticism, but didn’t change her behavior. A new practitioner, Deng, confronted Ang whenever she talked. I would look at Ang and signal her to stop talking. But Ang ignored me and kept talking, so I reminded her, “Please cultivate your speech!”
Ang realized what she was doing and said, “Yes, I should cultivate my speech.” Although she stopped talking, she didn’t recognize her strong sense of “self.”
I wondered why Ang didn’t change. It wasn’t until I read the Minghui article that I realized I’m still holding onto my own ego. I’m using my understanding of the Fa principles to measure and suppress others, and I’m not truly cultivating.
Master Li Hongzhi said,
“When two people have a conflict and a third person sees it, even that third person should think about whether there are any problems on his part—“Why did I happen to see it?”” (Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.)
What kind of attachments did I need to eliminate? I’m not cultivating if I keep focusing on others.
The practitioner said in her sharing article, “The ego does not want to be isolated, mistrusted, held in contempt, or feel inferior to others.” I noticed I have the same traits, and I don’t want to get hurt. I caught the false “self” today, the selfish “self” that should be removed. Why didn’t I notice it before?
A few days ago, a practitioner told me that she felt uncomfortable when I discussed my experiences during Fa study. She said her husband also felt this way, “You seem to do things in accordance with the Fa principles, and you are diligent. But we can’t do what you do, which makes us feel we are doing poorly in our cultivation. That is why some practitioners don’t want to share with you.”
I was shocked to hear this, and thought I was doing well. I have a strong ego and impose my view on others without considering their feelings. I wouldn’t have realized this if she hadn't told me. I thought I was in the Fa and helping others understand the Fa principles. On the contrary, I was no help and added more pressure on fellow practitioners. I’ve been self-centered and didn’t realize it.
I didn’t bother to search inward after seeing Ang’s behavior. There was a reason for this, but I didn’t enlighten to it. I’m sorry for missing Master’s arrangement. No wonder I dreamed that I couldn’t answer the questions on an exam and lost my key. They were hints that I was not aligned with the Fa.
The ego is deeply hidden, and I found it today. It is not the real me, and I don’t want it. My true nature is selfless, and I want to cultivate into a selfless being that belongs to the new universe. I want to search inward when encountering problems and put others first. I’m determined to get rid of my false ‘self!’
Thank you Master for your thoughtful arrangement! Thank you practitioners!
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Category: Improving Oneself
