(Minghui.org) I am a female Falun Dafa practitioner in my 70s, and I was imprisoned for almost 13 years. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has been persecuting practitioners for more than 20 years. I looked inward to improve myself and found that my main attachment was lust. I want to expose this attachment and use my experiences to warn other practitioners to look out for it.
Recently, after a young female practitioner purchased many new clothes online, she found that she had an attachment that stemmed from lust. She shared with me some examples, which were compiled by the Minghui website, discussing the lust that created problems for cultivating. She realized the seriousness of the problem. I found that I also had a hidden attachment that had to do with lust, and it was a major reason for me being persecuted for years.
When making truth-clarification materials a few years ago, I often rode buses. Another practitioner suggested that delivering the materials by bus was unsafe, so she asked a young male practitioner to take me places on his motorcycle. I agreed with the arrangement and thought riding a motorcycle would be convenient, fast, and safe. As time passed, I gradually developed attachments to comfort and ease, and preferred being on a motorcycle instead of using other means of transportation. Later, when I had to go to other places for Dafa-related matters, I would often ask him to give me a ride, as I had become accustomed to riding with him.
One practitioner objected to the situation of a male and a female practitioner riding together on a motorcycle for a long time. I did not take the objection seriously because I was elderly, and I believed that I had no evil thoughts or lust, and additionally, we went out to clarify the truth to save people, not for personal reasons.
One time, when distributing materials, I was arrested. With Master’s protection, I disintegrated the court’s persecution with righteous thoughts. However, I didn’t calm down and look inward to find my subtle attachment to lust, I failed to improve in my cultivation. A few years later, I was arrested again for passing out brochures and was sentenced to imprisonment.
After being released from prison, I prepared and delivered booklets to remote areas to save people. I could only squeeze in a little time to study the Fa every day. Because the transportation to get to places was not convenient, I contacted the young practitioner to give me a ride on his motorcycle. At that point, I had not improved my understanding of the Fa, and I failed to see the seriousness of the problem. Just a few months later, I was arrested again, and while being held in the detention center, I was confused about what my problem might be and felt anguished.
After I was released from prison, I learned my lesson, calmed down, and studied the Fa. When I read the following question and answer from a Fa conference,
“Student: Because of my attachment of emotion, I have made mistakes. I feel remorse over the path I have taken. How should I make up for it?
Master: (Teacher sighs) These are in fact the things that pain Master the most. For a cultivator, it’s just so shameful. It’s shameful even for an ordinary person, but you are a cultivator, so how could you even raise this for open discussion? It is just so shameful. Did you know that in old-time cultivation, as soon as a cultivator broke the rule pertaining to this, he wouldn’t be able to cultivate again for the rest of his life. That’s how serious it is.” (“Teachings at the 2004 International Conference in New York”)
I realized the seriousness of cultivation and understood that I had not been strict with myself in terms of contact between man and woman for a long time, and I had made mistakes, not realizing it. First, I did not study the Fa enough, so I failed to understand the seriousness of the lust issue. Secondly, I was poisoned by the evil CCP’s indoctrination.
The current social atmosphere is corrupt, and traditional concepts have been weakened, so morals have declined, and orthodox ideas have been severely impacted. In the past, the ancients followed traditional concepts, and it was considered immoral for a man and a woman to travel together or for a man and a woman to be alone in a room, let alone for a man and a woman to ride on a motorcycle in close physical proximity. To put it lightly, our behavior was indiscreet, and to put it more seriously, our behavior was undermining Dafa.
I now clearly realize my mistake on the issue of lust, and when I was arrested again, I learned a big lesson. I am writing this article to rectify myself and to warn those practitioners who have similar problems.
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Category: Improving Oneself
